


Friend Boys

by richyee



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: 2 hours??, I mean, Like really OOC, M/M, THAT WAS THE BEST HOUR OF MY LIFE, Text Conversation, WHOEVER JEREMY WAS PLEASE MSG ME ILYSM, cheetoes?? cheetos., friend boys, if you do you're a LIAr, im biased, innuendos, jeremy w/ his sad thoughts >:(, michael being a 10/10 GOOD BOI BEST BOI, michael is a good boy, my actual name is jeremy of course i have to love michael the most, ooc character michael, slushiephobic jeremy !!, slushiesexual michael, technically not, this is a shitpost, this was literally a shamchat conversation that i copy pasted, you read it and tell me its not a regular thing they would text to each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 19:09:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13278018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/richyee/pseuds/richyee
Summary: fdjskfjdskf read the tags i poured my heart and soul into themif you were the ejremy psl txt me





	Friend Boys

miscol myell: YELLS  
miscol myell: UR GAY  
miscol myell: JUST ACCEPT IT ALREADY  
Jeremy Heere: So are you  
Jeremy Heere: And i am  
Jeremy Heere: Bi, technically  
miscol myell: shit man nah the only thing i have a sexual craving for is slushies  
Jeremy Heere: Wh  
Jeremy Heere: A sexual craving for slushies?  
miscol myell: yea i wanna stick my dick in a food dyed artificially flavored vat of ice  
Jeremy Heere: What the hell michael  
miscol myell: slushies were my only friends for three months jeremy  
miscol myell: three  
miscol myell: months  
Jeremy Heere: ...  
miscol myell: i mean im not blaming you the sexual attraction was bound to happen  
Jeremy Heere: Michael, I really am sorry  
miscol myell: im flaming hot and slushies are so chill dude opposites attract you know  
miscol myell: dude, bro, chill, its cool  
Jeremy Heere: It really isn't  
miscol myell: listen man you didnt get the full story  
miscol myell: i went from michael in the bathroom  
miscol myell: to michael in the bedroom  
Jeremy Heere: Wh  
Jeremy Heere: Are you still talking about the slushies or something  
miscol myell: how do you think i get my money for weed jeremy?? selling my plants on ebay??  
Jeremy Heere: Oh  
miscol myell: yeah man  
miscol myell: weed money dont come easy jeremiah  
Jeremy Heere: I wouldn't think so  
Jeremy Heere: But i also wouldn't ask  
miscol myell: anyways dude bro my home slice bread slice mister beats-his-meat-every-morning how have you been  
Jeremy Heere: Wow okay  
Jeremy Heere: I'm a little attcked right now, but I've been average i guess  
miscol myell: you should come get stoned in my basement bro  
miscol myell: it really helps relieve stress dude  
Jeremy Heere: Nah man  
Jeremy Heere: Weed has weird affects on m  
Jeremy Heere: Me  
Jeremy Heere: Like,, if i try to get stoned, i get kinda hyper  
miscol myell: yea i know jeremy you only ever get stoned in /my/ basement  
miscol myell: unless  
miscol myell: you've betrayed me  
miscol myell: by getting high with someone else  
Jeremy Heere: And if i'm having any kind of squip episode, it gets amplified  
Jeremy Heere: But no dude  
Jeremy Heere: I'd never betray you with weed  
miscol myell: you better not jere  
Jeremy Heere: You are -and always will be- my favorite person  
miscol myell: bro thats gay  
Jeremy Heere: So i will never  
Jeremy Heere: Ok well we already went over this  
miscol myell: im sorry mr bi guy  
Jeremy Heere: Thank you, Mr. Slushie  
miscol myell: o yes  
miscol myell: i dont think you fully understand  
miscol myell: how much slushie porn there is like  
miscol myell: you dont understand at all  
Jeremy Heere: I don't want to understand  
miscol myell: like  
miscol myell: none of that straight bullshit you like to watch occasionally  
miscol myell: i mean like  
miscol myell: guy on slushie action jeremy  
Jeremy Heere: Okok  
Jeremy Heere: I get it  
miscol myell: ok  
miscol myell: i just wanted to make sure  
miscol myell: before we continued this broversation  
Jeremy Heere: This what  
miscol myell: broversation  
miscol myell: bros having a conversation jeremy  
miscol myell: its a simple concept jeremiah  
Jeremy Heere: And i'm a fucking idiot who just wanted clarification  
miscol myell: nono you're not an idiot  
miscol myell: you're very intelligent dude  
miscol myell: sometimes  
Jeremy Heere: Mmmmmmm yeah no  
Jeremy Heere: I'm very stupid  
Jeremy Heere: All the time  
miscol myell: dude no ! you get like  
miscol myell: solid b's and c's thats better than most of the school !!  
Jeremy Heere: It's really not  
miscol myell: i only know like  
miscol myell: three people who get a's in our school  
Jeremy Heere: And they're in the low level classes  
Jeremy Heere: How many people do you know  
miscol myell: uhh  
miscol myell: christine, brooke,, surprisingly, and rich, did you know he was a nerd before he was a bully, crazy shit man -  
miscol myell: anyways the point is i know  
miscol myell: like  
miscol myell: 23 people in total  
miscol myell: not friends with them  
miscol myell: i just  
miscol myell: know them  
Jeremy Heere: Ok  
miscol myell: ok so  
Jeremy Heere: In a 500+ student school  
miscol myell: ok the point is you dont have to be the smartest  
Jeremy Heere: Im just guessing  
Jeremy Heere: But yeah  
miscol myell: as long as you've got common sense dude  
miscol myell: common sense is all you need  
miscol myell: and basic math  
Jeremy Heere: Well i don't have either  
Jeremy Heere: So  
miscol myell: jeremy you're killing me  
miscol myell: ummmmm  
Jeremy Heere: I'd rather be killing myself  
miscol myell: J ER EM Y  
miscol myell: i swear to god  
miscol myell: you're like  
miscol myell: hot enough to be a model so if all else fails go do that  
miscol myell: or be a porn star  
Jeremy Heere: Pfft-  
miscol myell: because if you kill yourself im going to kill you  
Jeremy Heere: Ah yes  
Jeremy Heere: Because that makes sense  
miscol myell: shshhs im stoned right now i no speaka da english  
miscol myell: but in all seriousness jeremy  
miscol myell: just get a tutor if you're worried about your intelligence  
miscol myell: im sure christine would gladly tutor you  
Jeremy Heere: That's not really my main worry  
miscol myell: then wha t i s  
Jeremy Heere: Failure, rejection, becoming an outcast, being forgotten, and being a burden  
Jeremy Heere: Oh and also what others think of me  
Jeremy Heere: So yeah  
Jeremy Heere: How's the weed  
miscol myell: Ok, well I can't help with about uh five of those  
miscol myell: but  
miscol myell: I promise you Jeremy, you will never, ever be a burden.  
Jeremy Heere: To you, maybe  
miscol myell: You're smart, don't care if you disagree, funny, good looking, you're always willing to help people, like seriously its almost scary how you'd put other's health before yours, and dude there's literally no one like you. Like seriously if you looked through all the other Jeremy's of the world i bet none of them are an exact copy of you, I mean unless you have a secret twin, but even then they wouldn't have your amazing personality dude!  
Jeremy Heere: ...  
miscol myell: i kind of rambled but you get the point.  
Jeremy Heere: As much as I disagree with several of those points, I'm just being stubborn and self-deprecating  
Jeremy Heere: Anyway  
Jeremy Heere: Thank you, Michael  
Jeremy Heere: I- I don't mind the rambling  
Jeremy Heere: But seriously, thank you  
Jeremy Heere: You're the best, dude  
miscol myell: By the way, I know words barely scratch the surface of depression, anxiety, and self loathing feelings but I'll be here if you ever need anything. Seriously just ask dude I'd literally jump off a bridge if you asked me to  
Jeremy Heere: Please don't  
miscol myell: haha im just kidding  
miscol myell: about the bridge thing  
Jeremy Heere: Yeah  
miscol myell: just the bridge thing like literally everything else i've tonight was true  
Jeremy Heere: I'm glad to know everything you've tonight was true  
miscol myell: I just wanted to clarify because like, I was NOT joking about the slushie thing  
Jeremy Heere: Well okay then  
Jeremy Heere: I'm guessing your romantic preference is also slushies  
miscol myell: hot throbbing dick and cold slushie is a good combo im sorry  
miscol myell: nah im willing to date a pack of gum as long as it doesnt want sex  
Jeremy Heere: Alright then  
miscol myell: like, a few weeks ago i went out to that italian restaurant with a 36 pack of Wrigley's Extra Long Lasting Flavor Spearmint Gum  
miscol myell: we shared pasta but i really dont think she liked it  
miscol myell: she barely ate any of it !  
Jeremy Heere: The epitome of romance  
Jeremy Heere: And how rude  
Jeremy Heere: I hope she at least split the check  
miscol myell: nah  
miscol myell: she made me pay for her to go to dinner with me, like a bribe, a five dollar bribe  
miscol myell: and then i had to pay all of it man  
miscol myell: 45 dollars wasted  
Jeremy Heere: Well damn  
Jeremy Heere: DAMN  
miscol myell: i know right  
Jeremy Heere: If she gave you $5, only spend the $5  
miscol myell: but dude the pasta was so good  
Jeremy Heere: I bet  
Jeremy Heere: But it was expensive  
miscol myell: it was forty dollars man  
miscol myell: she gave me literally nothing like  
miscol myell: i had to give her those five dollars so she would even agree to go on the date  
miscol myell: aND THEN SHE GAVE IT TO THIS GUY DRESSED LIKE A CASHIER LIKE  
Jeremy Heere: Wh  
miscol myell: WHAT KIND OF KINKY SHIT  
Jeremy Heere: W h  
Jeremy Heere: Dude you deserve a better date  
Jeremy Heere: There are plenty of aces out there  
Jeremy Heere: Or just people who like you for you  
miscol myell: the only ace in my life is the red baron  
Jeremy Heere: Alright  
miscol myell: anyways me and the 36 pack of Wrigley's Extra Long Lasting Flavor Spearmint Gum are going on another date tomorrow  
miscol myell: i had to pay her 10 dollars this time  
miscol myell: but whatever  
Jeremy Heere: Dude stop  
Jeremy Heere: Come on, you can find a better date  
miscol myell: but she has a friend dude  
Jeremy Heere: Wh  
miscol myell: she can totally introduce you havent you ever wanted to go on a date with an original hubba bubba gum roll?  
Jeremy Heere: Not exactly  
Jeremy Heere: But i'd be willing to try i guess  
miscol myell: how about a double date me and you and the two gums they can sit at a separate table we don't even gotta look at em  
Jeremy Heere: I'd like that  
Jeremy Heere: Ok  
miscol myell: you basically just agreed to go on a date with me you know that right-  
Jeremy Heere: Perhaps  
miscol myell: wo ah  
miscol myell: i thought u wanted into christine's pants not mine  
Jeremy Heere: Well.. it didn't work out i guess  
Jeremy Heere: Long story  
miscol myell: oh man  
miscol myell: im sorry dude  
Jeremy Heere: And it's not all about getting into somebody's pants  
Jeremy Heere: We didn't fit as a couple  
Jeremy Heere: And it was mutual  
Jeremy Heere: It's okay  
miscol myell: i mean thats true  
miscol myell: sometimes people dont even wear pants and thats okay  
Jeremy Heere: Not very okay when you live with them  
Jeremy Heere: But still  
miscol myell: OH I FORGOT YOUR DAD STILL DOESNT WEAR PANTS SOMETIMES  
miscol myell: OH MY GOD DUDE  
miscol myell: WHAT IF YOU AND YOUR DAD WEAR THE SAME SIZE PANTS  
miscol myell: WOULD LIKE  
miscol myell: THAT TECHNICALLY  
Jeremy Heere: We don't  
miscol myell: BE HIM GETTING INTO YOUR PANTS  
Jeremy Heere: wE DON'T, MICHAEL  
Jeremy Heere: you honestly think a twig like me would have the same size as my dad?  
miscol myell: nah  
miscol myell: maybe when you're in your fourties  
Jeremy Heere: Maybe, but he might be dead by then  
miscol myell: well thats  
miscol myell: optimistic  
Jeremy Heere: Mhm, yeah  
miscol myell: maybe you and i wear the same pants size  
Jeremy Heere: Hi kiddos, it's me, Mr. Optimism  
Jeremy Heere: I dunno man  
miscol myell: i could try getting into your pants  
miscol myell: doubt it would work  
Jeremy Heere: And i could try getting into your pants as well  
Jeremy Heere: I don't know how it would go  
miscol myell: they'd probably fall off  
miscol myell: try using a condom  
Jeremy Heere: Or maybe a belt  
miscol myell: same thing  
Jeremy Heere: Y'know  
Jeremy Heere: It's really not  
miscol myell: if you tied the condom through the belt loops  
Jeremy Heere: Ok but if they were the same it could be used both ways  
miscol myell: wait no  
Jeremy Heere: And i think the condom would be a bit uncomfortable as a belt  
miscol myell: please do not wrap a belt around your dick while entering a vagina or anus  
Jeremy Heere: Yeah, that's my point  
miscol myell: i mean  
miscol myell: unless your partner is a masochist  
Jeremy Heere: How about no  
Jeremy Heere: Let's just.. change the subject, okay?  
miscol myell: do you like balloon animals  
Jeremy Heere: Not the sound they make when you're twisting them, but generally, yeah  
Jeremy Heere: Why?  
miscol myell: because  
miscol myell: i dont know  
miscol myell: condoms are like balloons so i just thought of this topic  
Jeremy Heere: ...  
Jeremy Heere: So about the date  
miscol myell: you still wanna go on the date? I'm surprised  
Jeremy Heere: Why is that?  
miscol myell: because i literally just said you could use a condom as a belt  
miscol myell: and made an innuendo about your dad getting into your pants  
Jeremy Heere: You've said a lot of things  
Jeremy Heere: Mr. Slushie  
miscol myell: I Don't Acknowledge Slushiephobics Mr. Bi Guy.  
Jeremy Heere: I'm sorry, that was not ny intent  
Jeremy Heere: My  
miscol myell: It better not have been Jeremiah, or else I would have no choice but to funnel slushie mixed with weed into your ass and have to hear you talk about how there was slushie and weed leaking out of your ass at school.  
miscol myell: Don't test me  
Jeremy Heere: Wh  
Jeremy Heere: I d  
Jeremy Heere: *i won't  
miscol myell: anyy ways  
Jeremy Heere: Yeah...  
Jeremy Heere: Ok  
Jeremy Heere: Well  
Jeremy Heere: Date?  
Jeremy Heere: And i completely respect your sexual and romantic preferences  
miscol myell: i just want you to know  
miscol myell: that  
miscol myell: you are the only human i will ever go on a date with because nobody else is as close to a slushie as you are  
miscol myell: like seriously why is your skin so cold and clammy what the fuck dude  
Jeremy Heere: Uh..  
Jeremy Heere: I don't know??  
Jeremy Heere: I'm just cold  
miscol myell: suspicious  
Jeremy Heere: Wh  
Jeremy Heere: I'm just naturally cold i guess?  
miscol myell: sUsPicIouS  
Jeremy Heere: OF WHAT  
miscol myell: I'll just have to warm you up I guess  
Jeremy Heere: What do you mean by that?  
miscol myell: what  
miscol myell: like  
miscol myell: a hug ??  
Jeremy Heere: K  
Jeremy Heere: Nice  
Jeremy Heere: You give good hugs  
miscol myell: how do YOU know  
Jeremy Heere: Bc i've hugged you before??  
miscol myell: since w h en  
miscol myell: suspicious jeremiah, very suspicious  
Jeremy Heere: We've been friends for 12 years Michael  
Jeremy Heere: There has to be a hug somewhere  
miscol myell: neve r  
Jeremy Heere: We hugged when we beat apocalypse of the damned  
miscol myell: nope dont remember im too tough to hug obviously  
Jeremy Heere: Michael you're like a teddy bear  
Jeremy Heere: A really hot teddy bear  
miscol myell: oh is that mister gay speaking i do believe he needs to speak a little louder, what was that you just said?  
Jeremy Heere: I said you're really hot and you give good hugs  
miscol myell: damn  
Jeremy Heere: This is a text conversation, michael  
miscol myell: yea i know  
miscol myell: i just wanted to see it twice  
Jeremy Heere: Alright  
miscol myell: i like how you dont even question that, thats amazing  
Jeremy Heere: Well i've seen weirder shit  
Jeremy Heere: Not that what you said was too weird  
Jeremy Heere: But still  
Jeremy Heere: The point is, you're extremely attractive and i don't mind repeating it  
miscol myell: holy shit why are you so naturally adorable like this  
miscol myell: what the fuck jere its so unfair  
miscol myell: you're just  
miscol myell: so cute  
miscol myell: all the time  
miscol myell: what the f u ck  
Jeremy Heere: Mmmmmmmm i don't think so mikey  
miscol myell: vjkdljfd and now with the nicknames  
miscol myell: are you  
miscol myell: trying ?? to kill me  
Jeremy Heere: Sorry i can stop  
miscol myell: nO I MEAn T THAT IN A GOOD WAY  
Jeremy Heere: Oh  
Jeremy Heere: Uh.. okay  
Jeremy Heere: Mikey  
miscol myell: dea th  
Jeremy Heere: No hon please don't die  
miscol myell: 'hon' d e a d e r  
Jeremy Heere: Micah i'm sorry don't d i e  
miscol myell: pls  
miscol myell: all the nickanems are just  
miscol myell: killign me  
miscol myell: giving me diabetes  
Jeremy Heere: Babe no  
miscol myell: oOF  
Jeremy Heere: M i c h a e l  
Jeremy Heere: Come on, you're too pretty to die  
miscol myell: rip michael mell died because of adorable nicknames  
miscol myell: given by his equally adorable friend boy  
Jeremy Heere: Friend boy?  
miscol myell: friend boy  
Jeremy Heere: ..alright  
miscol myell: i mean  
Jeremy Heere: But i'm not adorable  
miscol myell: jeremiah heere the most adorable friend boy  
Jeremy Heere: jeremiah heere the personification of "the ugly barnacle" who is friends with the greatest person to ever live  
miscol myell: you must be donald trump because you're WRONG  
miscol myell: wait  
miscol myell: wrong politician  
miscol myell: shit  
miscol myell: jeremy i messed up my own joke i have to go turn myself into the police  
miscol myell: ill just said i murdered a baby yk thatll get me a life sentence  
Jeremy Heere: No please don't  
Jeremy Heere: M i k e y  
miscol myell: gtg turn myself in  
Jeremy Heere: Sweetie, please don't  
miscol myell: this is a shameful day in  
miscol myell: guess i gotta listen to my friend boy  
miscol myell: no jail for me today  
Jeremy Heere: Thank you  
miscol myell: no problem butter bean  
miscol myell: i just called you a food i like to eat thats weird  
Jeremy Heere: A little bit, yeah  
miscol myell: must be because you look so tasty  
miscol myell: wait that sounds like vore NEVER MIND  
miscol myell: IGNJORE THAT  
Jeremy Heere: Wow damn michael  
Jeremy Heere: Think before you speak, please  
miscol myell: never  
miscol myell: never ever that goes against everything i stand for  
Jeremy Heere: yeah i figured that would be your response  
Jeremy Heere: But yeah  
Jeremy Heere: Im sure you can use nicknames without it sounding like it relates to vore  
miscol myell: im sorry im kind of hungry  
miscol myell: NOT FOR PEOPLE  
miscol myell: i mean like  
miscol myell: food food  
Jeremy Heere: Ok, i get it  
Jeremy Heere: If you're hungry just eat something  
miscol myell: the only body part im interested in voring is dick  
miscol myell: wait  
miscol myell: no  
miscol myell: NOT VORING WRONG WORD  
Jeremy Heere: Not someone  
miscol myell: ill go get some cheetoes  
miscol myell: cheetos?  
miscol myell: how do you spell that  
Jeremy Heere: No clue  
Jeremy Heere: I think the forst one  
Jeremy Heere: First  
Jeremy Heere: Maybe not???  
Jeremy Heere: I dunno  
miscol myell: i mean  
miscol myell: cheetoes reminds me of toes  
miscol myell: sounds like how british people would spell it  
Jeremy Heere: Ok i looked it up it's cheetos  
Jeremy Heere: But maybe  
Jeremy Heere: You never know  
Jeremy Heere: Unless you have access to british cheetos  
Jeremy Heere: Somehow  
miscol myell: suspicious  
miscol myell: im gonna go get a red sharpie brb  
Jeremy Heere: Ok??  
miscol myell: ok im back ive successfully colored my lips with red sharpie  
Jeremy Heere: WHAT NO  
Jeremy Heere: MICHAEL  
miscol myell: ii had to  
Jeremy Heere: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT  
miscol myell: it had to be done  
miscol myell: so i can be pretty obviously  
Jeremy Heere: NO  
Jeremy Heere: YOU'RE ALREADY PRETTY  
Jeremy Heere: AND GETTING INK POISONING WON'T DO ANYTHING GOOD  
miscol myell: ink poisoning  
miscol myell: sounds t as t y  
Jeremy Heere: N O  
Jeremy Heere: TRUST ME, IT'S NOT  
Jeremy Heere: IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE AND PAINFUL  
miscol myell: ITS TOO LATE  
Jeremy Heere: WHY COULDN'T YOU USE LIPSTICK  
Jeremy Heere: IT HAS A MUCH LOWER CHANCE OF KILLING YOU  
miscol myell: i dont own any lipstick ???  
Jeremy Heere: Nobody in your household owns any lipstick at all?  
miscol myell: parents went out of town so  
miscol myell: not at the momen t  
Jeremy Heere: Oh ok  
Jeremy Heere: Well still  
Jeremy Heere: W H Y  
Jeremy Heere: YOU'RE ALREADY GORGEOUS MICHAEL  
Jeremy Heere: GORGEOUS AND ALIVE  
Jeremy Heere: HEALTHY  
Jeremy Heere: FOR NOW  
miscol myell: what r u tryna say jere  
miscol myell: 'for now'  
Jeremy Heere: that you poisoned yourself  
Jeremy Heere: You're healthy for now  
Jeremy Heere: Alive for now  
miscol myell: well im already getting strep maybe i wont have to su f f er  
miscol myell: i only did this because the sharpie matches my hoodie  
Jeremy Heere: No it'll just make the strep far worse  
miscol myell: gotta break all my bones go to the hospital they'll put me on pain killers and cure me  
Jeremy Heere: N o  
Jeremy Heere: Mikey  
Jeremy Heere: Mikey, hon, please don't hurt yourself  
miscol myell: fdfhdsj gotta listen to the nicknames its the law  
Jeremy Heere: Ok good  
Jeremy Heere: Thank you sweetie  
miscol myell: let me go scrub the sharpie off i g ue s s  
Jeremy Heere: Be careful  
miscol myell: never  
Jeremy Heere: M I C H A E L  
Jeremy Heere: Please be careful, hun  
Jeremy Heere: Hun? Hon? Both work

Jeremy Heere logged off

miscol myell: god dammit jere


End file.
